Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
