Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
