Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
it glows. i had to have it.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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