i already hear my dad disowning me
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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