Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
