i don't like sucking hair
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
