i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
she told me i tasted like america
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Randomize
