i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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