After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
