I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
