i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
