pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
