I seem to have left my pride at pride
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
