Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Randomize
