You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
