Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
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you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
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A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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