I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Come share oat with me in your robe
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
