margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
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