what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
