You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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