the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
