hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
