stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
