I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
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