My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
