So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
