is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
21 Guys Share Their Insane Stripper Stories
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
27 Reasons Why Men Need To Moan More During Sex
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES