btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.