AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.