Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
