I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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