Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
