I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
