wake up i wanna do it froggy style
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
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