So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
