how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Randomize
