Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
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