dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
