Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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