mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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