i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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