oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize