its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
