No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
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