He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
