tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
