I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
