I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
The air was thick with penises
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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