she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
