I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
