..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Randomize
