Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
