Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Randomize
