Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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