Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
