she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
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I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
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How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize