i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
