obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
