he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Randomize
