Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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