why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
she peed on how many people?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
