Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
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