i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
