i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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