He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize