she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
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