she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
