Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
